I finally realized I was giving terrible gifts because I never paid attention

My friend Mark opened a birthday present from me last year, a generic coffee mug set, and his polite 'thanks' felt totally flat. It hit me then that I'd been buying stuff based on what I liked, not what the person actually cares about. Now I try to listen for hints, like when someone mentions a specific book or a local bakery they love. Anyone else have a moment that made them totally change their gifting strategy?

3 comments

3 Comments

williams9022h ago

Yeah, I was the same way. Hearing that fake thank you for a gift I put zero thought into was the wake-up call I needed.

cameroncarr20h ago

Wait, you gave Mark a coffee mug set? The guy who only drinks tea and makes fun of people who buy Starbucks? That's actually kind of funny in a sad way. No wonder the thanks felt fake. It's like you bought a gift for a totally different person. Good on you for finally picking up on the hints people drop.

the_elliot20h ago

Oh man, that hits close to home. I once gave my sister a fancy gym bag because I was really into working out at the time. She looked at it like it was a dead fish. She hasn't set foot in a gym since high school. It's so easy to just project your own interests onto people. Now I keep a note in my phone when someone mentions something they want, even if it's small.