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Vent: Tried the "coffee chat" route and it flopped hard until I changed one thing
I was going to like 3 networking events a month in Detroit, buying coffee for random people, just trying to make connections. Felt like I was getting nowhere, nobody actually followed up or wanted to grab lunch. Then I realized I was just asking people about their business, not asking for help with something specific. Last week I messaged a guy on LinkedIn who runs a marketing firm in the D, and instead of "let's connect," I asked him how he handled a specific client problem I saw him post about. He replied in 10 minutes, we grabbed a beer at Keep Going in Hamtramck, and he gave me a lead that turned into a $500 contract. Anyone else find that specific questions work way better than general "let's network" stuff?
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jordanl822mo ago
Not enough people talk about how location matters in this. Coffee chats are kinda impersonal and everyone does them. But you went to a bar in Hamtramck which is way more casual and people are already relaxed there. I think that environment shift is almost as important as the specific question. Did you notice if the setting made him more open or was it really just the question that did the trick?
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gavin_reed2mo ago
Actually it was a coffee shop in Hamtramck, not a bar.
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tarajenkins2mo ago
Wait, was it really a coffee shop though? Because I feel like everyone jumps to say "oh the setting matters so much" but I actually think that's a little overblown. A coffee shop in Hamtramck is still a public spot where people are sitting across from each other, not in a loud bar or a crowded party. The whole vibe difference between a bar and a coffee place is real but honestly a good question cuts through that stuff anyway. If someone is not open to talking, no amount of casual setting is going to magically fix it. I've had way more forced chats in "relaxed" environments than in formal ones cause people can still be closed off. The question itself is usually the make or break, not whether there's beer or espresso nearby.
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