Overheard a volunteer coordinator say 'help isn't just giving, it's asking too'

I was at the food bank on Saturday and the person running the shift said that to a new guy. She explained that letting someone help you can be a gift to them, making them feel needed. I always thought helping was a one-way street, you know? It made me rethink how I ask for a hand with my own community garden project. How do you guys balance giving help with accepting it?

3 comments

3 Comments

benk263mo ago

Read a book once that called it the "economy of favors." The idea was that always being the giver puts you above people, and that can actually push them away. Letting someone else help you evens things out, makes it a real connection. It's a hard habit to break if you're used to being the capable one. I still catch myself refusing help just to avoid feeling like a burden.

barbarac953mo ago

Yeah that "hard habit to break" thing is so real. My friend Sarah is like that, the total capable one. Last month her car battery died in a grocery lot and she was about to call a tow, all stressed. I was with her and just said "let me give you a jump." She fought it for a minute, said it was fine. But when she finally let me, she was so relieved. We got coffee after and she said it felt weirdly good to just accept the help. It's like what @benk26 said about evening things out. She's trying to let people in more now, instead of handling everything solo.

olivia_carr72mo ago

Totally get that. Reminds me of my neighbor who always shovels everyone's walk but never asks for anything. Last winter his snowblower broke and he was out there with a tiny shovel. A bunch of us saw and just went over with ours. He looked so embarrassed at first, but later he admitted it was nice not to do it alone for once. Felt like we were actually neighbors after that, not just people he helps.